Chapter 12: Ichi Skulls Gang
- We're finally here
- Yes, i see, but why is the gate to castle locked ?
- Because sometimes evil creatures called Chibi lolicon's try to assault my beautiful gothic loli harem
- Whaat ? Chiki i don't wanna know what else you have in this castle
- So, i have...
- I told you, that i don't need this kind of information. Just knock to the gate
Chiki went to the door and start knocking
- Knock, knock
- Who's there ? - Door said
- Open
- What open ?
- Open this fucking gate
- Wait, Povilas is that you ? You must say password, then i will be opened
- Hmmm, i know: Underground sky
- No, Chiki, this is not correct password. Password is changing every week
- Chiki I don't want to mad you, but i think we will never get to this castle - said terrified Dario
- Of course we will. Go Super-duper Chiki flying jutsu. Here take my hand, we gonna flew by the window
- I think it's a bad idea
- Why ?
- Because this sign says, that all windows are sealed by some magic spells. And also, again this book will look very unreal.
- What ? I've been living in this castle for 5 years and I even didn't knew that. Well, this book isn't a fucking autobiography of Eminem.
- Well, can I ask you one thing ?
- No
- When have you been here last time ?
- Hmmm, 6 months ago
- So, who's been guarding this castle ?
- The legendary Katsura-san
- So, where is he ?
- How the fuck can I know ? Really, Dario you starting to ask, so fucking annoying questions. Just shut the fuck up and let me think
- Well, I think, that we're wasting our time here, because you can't think
Suddenly ChikoritaBH kicked Dario to the gate. It was smashed and some evil creatures came from it.
- Just what the fuck are this things - asked Dario
Get off me you stinky fucker. Go Dario forbidden jutsu: Bodyblow !!!
All evil creatures exploded. Their leftovers landed on Chiki new shirt.
- Dario, do you know, what did you did ?!
- Well, i've just killed those dorks
- No ! You destroyed my new clothes !
- Hey Chiki, it's not a big deal. Chiki ? Fuck ! Stop chasing me !
- What do you mean by "a not big deal" ? This clothes are more valuable, than your house !
Both of them started to running deep into the castle. Dario saw unknown creatures nearby and prepared again his awesome Bodyblow jutsu, but it didn't worked.
- Chiki, stop for a moment
- What ?
- You see those creatures out there ?
- Yeah, so ?
- They didn't noticed us, but i tried my jutsu and it didn't worked on them ? Do you know what kind of monsters they are ?
- Hmmm I think... WHAT ? this are Chibi lolicon's ! But that means... Where the fuck is my harem you bastards ?
Chiki jumped into next room, simply crashing skulls of this creatures one by one. Dario stand behind and saved one of this lolicon freaks.
- Dario, what are you doing ? Just kill this fucker... NOW !
- No ! I'm gonna interrogate him !
- Ok
- And now you baka. You really thought that you gonna win with me ? You thought... WRONG hahaa. Now, do you watch Naruto ?
- Yes
- Do you think, that Gintama is the best anime ever made ?
- No
- I'm gonna fucking kill you
Suddenly Chiki hit Dario with his fist.
- Just what the fuck are you doing ? This isn't interrogation. You ask him just some stupid questions. Let me try. You stupid whinny punk ass bitch motherfucker hommie, just tell me where the fuck is my harem, because if you don't tell me, satan will rape your throat and feed your guts to the snakes !!!
- Please, don't hurt me !! I tell you everything. When you weren't around, we formed a Ichi Skulls Gang and our leader Sasuke kidnapped Katsura and now he uses him as a furniture. Also our leader is looking for One Ring in this area. He will find you soon and you'll all be dead. Hahaha
Suddenly Dario cut lolicon freak in two pieces with his sword.
- I've heard enough. No one can fuck with us. Kidnapping great Katsura ? Looking for One Ring ? It will be my pleasure to kill this Uchicha fucker ! Let's go Chiki we must hurry.
- Okay
And they went to the side of the setting sun.
Chapter 13: The Great Showdown !
- Keep running Chiki !
- I'm running can't you see ?
- Yes, but we must hurry
- Are you really, so determinated to save my harem ?
- No ! We must find the one ring, before this Uchichafucker !
- Is, that so ?
- Yes
- Then, go find this ring by yourself. I quit
- But, why ?
- I'm not gonna take competition in some lame race about some fictional ring !
- Okay, so go fuck yourself
- Yes, i will !
They split up. Chiki went to left side of island, hopping of finding his harem and Katsura, while Dario headed to the dark forest.
Man i can't see damn thing in this place. Go Fire from the sky WAIT ! If i do this jutsu, then this island will drown. Hmmm, go Fireball jutsu ! A giant fireball hit a tree. It felt down starting a big fire.
What the fuck ? The whole forest is burning. I though, that trees can't burn ! HELP ! Someone call for firetruck !!! I don't know any water jutsus ! Dario started to running from the forest, when he hit some person.
- What are you doing ? Run quickly !
Dario looked at the person. He was very big and had mask on his face. Also, he weared Deicide t-shirt. He had a giant axe in his right hand. The darkest aura was floating around him. It was him. The one, that died thousand years ago, unleashing Middle-earth from tyranny. Sauron itself. Dario looked at his left hand. There was a ring, but not so normal ring. It was, that ring to rule them all ! Sauron tried to kill Dario with slash attack, but Dario blocked it and kicked him in the face. The mask crumble and Dario saw Sauron face. He couldn't believed what he saw. It was Weedy Alien, known director of many box-office movies.
- Weedy, but how in the fuck ?
A scary voice said:
- Yes, i'm Weedy Alien. So, what ?
- I'm your biggest fan. Can you give me your autograph ?
- Yes, sure. WAIT ! This script says, that we must fight, until one of us will die
- Don't bother this thing. It's just writer stupidness. Now can you write on this paper your full name, please ?
- Okay
Sauron took paper and wrote: Weedy Alien. Dario started staring at watch.
- Why, are you looking at your watch ?
- Ah, that thing ? Because, i'm Kira
Sauron suddenly took his axe and cut his own head ! Dario started his horrifying laugh. Mwahahaha i killed Sauron. Now give me this ring. Dario went to Sauron's corpses and started to pulling off the ring. What the fuck ? Why it isn't coming out ? Ahh screw this. Dario cut off Sauron's finger with ring and hide it in his pocket. He suddenly looked at his old photo with actor Weasley Snipes. Man, when you gonna escape from this jail ? - Dario asked himself. Ohh i almost forgot. The whole fuckin' forest is burning to ashes. I must run ! He started to running, when something hit him with a rock. Later, he woke up in some cave. There were many girls around there looking at their rings. Dario was pretending, that he sleeps, when he heard a conversation:
- So, Akeno is this the ring, which you wanted to have ?
- Yes, i'm gonna use it as a furniture for my new house layout.
- But, rings have nothing to do with house layouts - said other girl
- Well, if you really wanna know, i want to give it to Chikorita as a gift
- WHAAT THE FUCK ? - screamed rising from the ground Dario
Girls jumped scared and took their swords.
- You're alive ? - asked red-hair girl
- Yes, i am and now if you are a good girl, give me this ring back !
- NO ! It is a present for very important person
- Really ? ChikoritaBH ? He doesn't want this ring !
- What ? You know Chiki ?
- Yes, because i came with him to this island. He went to rescue his harem
- But, we are his gothic harem. Where is he now ?
- How can i know ? We split up. He went to the left side of island, while i went to forest looking for this ring !
- Well, if you're Chiki friend, then you will live
- What do you mean that i will live ? And who are you people anyway ?
- I'm Rias Gremory. This little cute girl with white hair is Koneko. And this beauty is Akito. We're looking for Mei Misaki. Did you saw her ?
- I'm Daimaou, but you can call me Dario. I didn't saw any Mei, when walking to the forest. Where are you going now ? I heard, that Sasuke is looking for this ring too.
- Well, Sasuke is a bitch. He captured us, but we escaped. He thinks, that he controls the island, because of capturing Katsura, but it ain't true. I'm the vice-president of United Katsura Country and i'm mobilizing our forces to destroy his castle !
- So, where is this castle ?
- We kinda wanted to go there, but if Chiki is here, then we must first find him
- Okay, so let's go
Some facts and interesting things about ATTH: Battle Between The Fallens and Chuck:
The idea to write this book came after saying words by ChikoritaBH: "Our chats are fucking masterpieces"
The first name of this book was: 123 Facts about humans: A Tribute to Hentais and disfuction of brain
The first bodyguard of ChikoritaBH was Shitashima not Hitman, but he was cut from the book (who want a bodyguard, that is a hamster ? XD)
Chiki was supposed to be a demon, but I wanted to give this book a realistic character, so he became a fallen angel (this is stupid isn't it ?)
The first plot of ATTH was, that Dario97 stoll a game Satan's Wizard, that belong to Chuck Norris. Then Chuck would get revenge at Dario, killing Chiki, but this idea was been deleted, because Chuck Norris, doesn't have a Playstation: Satan's Edition (but Chiki does xD)
The second plot of ATTH was, that ChikoritaBH did a photo of Chuck, when he was only 0 years old, and then Chiki made a big company, that was producing a t-shirt's with this photo on it. That idea was also denied, because Chuck could sue as, because of illegally manipulating of his photos xDD
"Anti-gravity Mindfuck jutsu" was deleted from the plot, because of lack of use. After all Chiki can do those "things" without gravitation xDDD
There is a rumor, that Dario97 writes a chapter of ATTH, when he's on drugs. This information is fake.
"Cashtrasher jutsu" was also deleted from first chapter, because i didn't saw any use for this kind of power.
Someone (i think it was Chuck) spread a rumor, that Zaraki Kenpachi will not appear in this book. It's a lie. Kenpachi will be very important character.
ChikoritaBH is a reincarnation of Jiraiya-sensei, Lolicon-sama and Angry Butter. That's real information xDD
Some person said to me, that Sasuke cannot be killed. I prove her wrong, by killing Sasuke in my book. And how do you feel now mwahahah ? XDDD
Rikyu told me, that in Chapter 0, there is an error, because i wrote "It was rainy and cloudy day. The sky was blue as always". Explanation for this is simple. Behind clouds there was blue sky :P
ChikoritaBH is also Konichi-san. That person will also appear in my book.
It's not a secret, that last chapter of ATTH book will be called "The End". Are you mad ? :>
Dario97 inspiration is a famous writer Richard Castle, that even don't exist in real world.
The word "Muffin" has been really censored. Now characters say "Fuck" or "Shit" XDDDD
Povilas is a name in Lithuania language. It means Pavel *___*
This book will change history of Anime-planet. And after releasing this book third WW will come xDD
I'm not gonna explain what it's a "Daimaou diseaser", so don't use this words. They're censored by Konami and Funimation xDD
ChikoritaBH is not a prince. For further informations, please contact a doctor.
If this book will become famous i will be directing a movie about Chiki. It will be called: "16 abandoned wives and he's wanna be married again ! - A Tribute To 60 years old Chikko guy". I think it's gonna be more interesting than Transformers 3 (well, any movie can be more interesting than this xDDD), there will be more action, than in soap operas, more comedy than Gintama, and more drama than Death Note. Borat would say, that it's gonna be "a great success" XDD
Dario97 doesn't want to look like Tsunade-sama :P
I confirm, that Chiki is NOT working on a new type of tentacles.
The deleted ending of this book said, that Dario would kill Chiki and rape his daughter on his grave. This idea was rejected :P
I wanted to have Jesus in my book, but Chiki doesn't want to have in ATTH any fictional characters xDDDD
I've been informed, that drinking vodka, while reading my book is prohibited. Seriously WTF ? XDD
Nyannyan neko force won't appear in my book. They're under AnimeBrainStorm commands.
Singapure is great town, i've also been told X___X
Cola Fish Tank will not take a part in my new Drinking event.
Baby Beel is not a fictional character. It's my nephew >____<
The other ending was, that Chuck could be killed by an ball from the Ice hockey world championship. This idea was stupid, that even i couldn't approved it xDD
This book will be not licenced by Sleeping Dead Productions. It will be licenced only by Birthday Cake Demise Corp.
Thank you for reading :D
Brak komentarzy:
Prześlij komentarz