Chapter 14 - New Enemy
- Okay, girls where the fuck are we ?
- Well, we're already at Sasuke place
- But i don't see Chiki anywhere
- I'm here
I looked at the roof of this pathetic house. He was standing there. His loli harem was so happy and calmed, that they found him, but something was wrong... he should say something funny, smile or react... it was like his eyes were... dead
- Hey, Chiki come down here, we need to talk
Suddenly, other person revealed itself... it was this bastard... Uchicha Sasuke... he said with his so proudy, fuckin' annoying voice...
- Isn't this all might Daimaou, looking at me from below... like a parasite ready to be crushed
- What the... Chiki kill this fucker now !!
- Well, Dario you see... Chiki is under my control now... we've become best friends, right ?
- Yes
- But, why man, i've searched for your stupid harem and...
- Hey we're still here
- Shut the fuck up bitches ! Why you've forsaken me Chiki ? Answer you brainless fuck !
Sasuke started his stupid laugh...
- Mwahahahaha... you know... i've made from your friend my kawaii little toy, just to crush you... i've already known for 5 years, that you were this guy, that blown up my ice cream van... then i started to study your behaviour and movement... when i saw, that you found your student... this idiot (he pointed at Chiki)... i've went to Chuck and spoked with him... we have a deal... i will be the one to crush you, but first let me use my slave... Chikko !
- Yes, Master
- Kill this bug, NOW !
Suddenly Chiki respawned behind me and kicked me with all of his force. I've jumped over the roof and tried to punch Sasuke, but he teleported himself into unknown location.
- Come back here - Chikko screamed
He jumped to me and started to punch me... i've had many problems with blocking his attacks... he took from his pocket little knive and cut my face... i've started bleeding... i heard this voice again, which was calling me many times... put it on... put it on... Chiki grabbed me and tossed me on a rock... i was already wounded... i couldn't think about anything else... i've took this mask from my backpack and put it on my face. Strange darkness surrounded my mind... i've started to falling down in my rotting imaginations, trying to not become insane... i've felt asleep...
- I want to kill you, fucker ! - screamed Chikko
In very big dust was standing a person... Chiki couldn't see it, but he was 100% sure, that it was Dario. Suddenly, a group of scary looking man with masks on their faces surrounded Chiki.
- What is it ? - he asked
Suddenly, one of those things kicked him into air, while the others started making some weird seals... I must escape from them - Chikko said... he started to fighting them, but their were to strong... Chiki kicked one of them in the face... his mask crumbled... it was him... Hollow Dario !
- What are you doing here ? - asked him Chiki, like he knew this creature
- We're here to kill you - they said with their scary voices
- You should stay out of this... this is fight between me and Dario !
- Sasuke have broke our rules... we will kill him and creature that were infested by him... that means you !
- But...
Hollows started to respawning from everywhere... they're came from air, from ground... five seconds later Chiki was surrounded by legions of Hollows with 12 Hollow Darios as their commanders
- I don't know what that means... we're same things you know - he said scared to death
- No... we've took control of Dario, but you're didn't took control of real Chiki... you're a failure... die now !
All monsters jumped on Chiki ripping his body apart...
Whaaaaat the fuuuuck ! - Chiki screamed
He woke up in the forest... Man that dream was so real !
- It's not a dream - said person behind him
- Who are you ?
Mysterious person took hood of face
- I'm Wendy, i've saved you from Zions
- What are those Zions ?
- Those are creatures, which are superior race to Hollows, they've took control of your friend, Dario
- He's not my friend... not anymore
- Well, maybe you've forgot about him, but he didn't forgot about you
- What do you mean ?
- Zions are taking control of humans to make their evil plans come true, but i saw that your friend evil side, took control of them... i've looked into his mind and i saw, that he thinks about you all the time !
- Why ?
- I don't know, he see in you his most powerful enemy... he see a fallen angel, that will save the world from destruction
- But i'm not an angel
- Well, we can't discuss about it now, we must to move on
- But i need some answers !
- Okay... they are looking for you right now... their presence makes your heart cold as ice and your mind becomes paranoid... you can't look into their eyes... you understand that ?
- But, why ?
- They can trap you into illusion with no exit
- How do you know all those things ?
- That's simple... i'm Zion myself
- What ?
- Don't worry... i'm from the good guys group. I need to transport you far away from Chuck, Zions and Blejk. We will try to re-awake your angel side to help us stop evil
- Let's go
Chapter 15 - Trapped Inside Hollow Mind
Where am I ? Why it's so dark here ? I'm scared, help me !!!
- Hello Dario
A fire started burning on the sky... flames reminding clouds... bloody moon, black sun
- Where am I ?
- You're in your mind... do you don't see your trade marks everywhere ?
I looked on the ground, there were corpses of people I annihilated
- Is this some bad dream ? I want to wake up !!!
- It's not a dream, it's a reality !
- Who are you ? Can't you help me ?
- Who am I ? You should ask who are YOU !
- But, i'm not evil... i don't want to see this nightmare
Mysterious person showed his face to Dario... it was an ugly hollow with an eyes of a Demon and wings of an angel
- Who the fuck are you man ?!
- I'm your true self. The awaken Dario !
- No, you're not ! Real Dario likes Gintama, that means i'm the real one !
- Nooooo Dario, real Dario never liked Gintama
- That's not true !!! Stop it !
Many strange looking creatures surounded myself... i saw their devastated faces with sick smiles. They started saying at the same time
We are Zions, our leader is our master. We will never leave him. Our mission is to destroy the world and kill those who oppose us... our enemies do not stand a chance against us, we are controllers of all minds, we will not rest until we find, the one that is threat to our lifes !
- And who the fuck is that ?
Demongel Dario said:
- I thought you would say it to us
- What ?
- What do you know about your friend Chiki ?
- He's a midclass spellcaster, nothing special really, can we go back to part, when i ask you...
WHY IN THE FUCK I'M HERE ?!!!
- So, you're saying his just normal spellcaster... you're lying... Aizen !
- Yes, master Dario
- Cut his leg off
- With pleasure
-NOOOOOO ! My leg i'm bleeding.. STOOP
They started laughing, like it was a funny joke
- I'm repeating my question... who is Chiki and where is he ?
- I don't know !
- Aizen can you remove his left eye ?
- Of course
- Waaaait !
- So, you gonna say where he is ?
- Well.... NO, FUCK YOU... i'm stronger than you... go forbidden jutsu Immortal Calling !
Suddenly Dario's leg have reconstructed itself... he shouted: Tatsumaki Shouryuken !
Hollows were stunned and couldn't move... only Hollow Dario could move
- What did you did ? - he screamed with anger
- I've just gave my master Karin, 20 years of my life, by becoming immortal for 20 minutes...
i don't want to scare you.. but you're all fuckin' dead
- You'll sacrifice yourself to save your world ? Why ? Is it for your friends ? You don't have one. This world is all rotten to the core, but you still want to save it ? WHY ?
- Because world needs a person like me, i'm Daimaou, I decide who lives and die... now go burn in abyss
- You won't stop us !!! Zions, can't fall !
- We'll see about that !!!
Chapter 16 - Whisper of Ancient One
Wendy and Chiki were escaping from Zions, while suddenly one of them kicked Chiki... he falled to the ground... Wendy picked him up and started to preparing her special jutsu... Zions surrounded them.. she screamed: Ring of Fire !!! A great flames smashed all Zions into ashes, but the new ones started to respawn..
- Chiki ?
- What Wendy-chan ?
- I'm gonna distract them, while you'll gonna run for your life
- But..
- NOW !
She tossed Chiki far away and started to fighting with Zions, while Chiki was running away...
Some of Zions went for hunting Chiki...
I must run, i must run, don't look behind. Suddenly one of the Zions catched Chiki.
Chikko shut his eyes, but Zion took a blade gently cut of his left eye and he looked at him....
Chiki found himself at red river of blood on some dark wasteland... Zions were standing
around him... they were all smiling and one of them said:
- We've found you mwahahaha
He punched Chiki with all of his force, while the other ones tried to cut Chikko to pieces...
Chiki prepared his jutsu... Fireball !!! Some of the Zions were wounded, while the other ones were still coming...
I think i won't win this fight - he said to himself
Meanwhile...
- So, Hollow Dario you fuckin' poser come and kill me
- No, Dario... i'll give you a gift... you attack me first
- Okay, asshole
- He ripped Hollow Dario to pieces...
- That was easy
- No it was not... Dario looked behind himself and Hollow Dario punched him...
- This fight is meaningless... you won't beat me Dario... i told you we're immortal...
- What about this then ?
Dario took from his pocket the one ring
- No you can't do it !!!
- Yes i can !!!
Dario said: Mordor Reverse Jutsu !!!
- NOOOOOOO
Dario started saying:
Burzum agh ash nazg krimp- agh gimb to me... I'm one to rule them all and to bind them in darkness, now I stand on the ashes of their forgotten land, by only one thing, which will crush them all... light is in the place of the ring... i give you pure heart to kill them all... try to understand me Eru, light fill this abyss now !!!
Sun started to shining again and clouds and sky returned to normality... Zions started to
burning to ashes...
I must go there before it's to late ! - Dario said
Meanwhile, Wendy was fighting with Zions and she felt that Chiki was attacked... wait for
me... she teleported near Chikko and saw that he's dying...
She went to him, put him on her shoulders, she felt he's very cold.
- Don't die Chiki you need to be strong
- No, i've have... lost fight with them... i'm fading... away
Wendy started to crying... she kissed dying Chikko, and he said:
- Hope, we'll meet someday again somewhere
- Yes, we must
Chiki closed his eyes.. his life presence vanished
Wendy was shocked... suddenly she heard a voice
- Put him on the ground
She looked behind and saw Dario with a shotgun
- It's you !!! You've killed him you fiend !!!
She tried to punched him, but he touched her and turned her into stone... You're Zion too, even if you're good, i must erase you, Eru's will must be done... he crushed her. He looked at Chiki. Man, you're so dead. But don't worry, be happy. BOOOOOOOOOOOOM. Dario shot Chiki with a shotgun and he suddenly woke up !!!
- What the fuck man, i'm trying to win Oscar here !!!
- You should say thank you, i've revived you !
- You made a big shit ! Wait what's that ? - he looked at crushed stone
- Nothing, it was just something... do you remember anything ?
- Yeah, we were walking to Katsura castle and then those chibi lolicons attacked us
It's good, that he doesn't remember anything what happened next - said Dario in his mind
- So, Dario, where are we going, i'm hungry
- Well, we're all tired, so let's go to Sasuke Police Department
- Why ?
- Well, i've got some business with him and you're hungry and they have amazing donuts
- Okay, let's gooo - said happy Chikko
And they went into the side of rising sun. Dario has now in his backpack Ring of Sauron, Death Note and wings of King Zion. What's planning his darkest side ? Will they survive at meeting of Angry Yakuza Nekos and what the fuck happened with Chiki Harem ? All of those questions will be answered in Chapter 17 ! :D
Dario's Point of View of ATTH:
In next chapters there will be a lot of new characters and many stupid jokes, because the last 3 chaps where more serious and heartbreaking, the next ones will be more funnier :) Also, a great fights awaits main characters and struggle in their hearts, while Dario will try to control his Hollow and Chiki will try to cool his head down for rescuing his harem... Also Chuck will be very pissed thanks to Butter, who have became new leader of Syndicate ;3 So, those are new changes in the book :P i won't change the style of writing it, or adding some shitty flashbacks, Chiki wanted to have Wendy in this book and i gave her to him :P now she's gone and he probably want to have her back, which doesn't apply to the storyline, so NO, i won't revive her Chiki :P But you can adjust a new character to the book if you like :P
Thank you 4 reading :)
Chapter 12: Ichi Skulls Gang
- We're finally here
- Yes, i see, but why is the gate to castle locked ?
- Because sometimes evil creatures called Chibi lolicon's try to assault my beautiful gothic loli harem
- Whaat ? Chiki i don't wanna know what else you have in this castle
- So, i have...
- I told you, that i don't need this kind of information. Just knock to the gate
Chiki went to the door and start knocking
- Knock, knock
- Who's there ? - Door said
- Open
- What open ?
- Open this fucking gate
- Wait, Povilas is that you ? You must say password, then i will be opened
- Hmmm, i know: Underground sky
- No, Chiki, this is not correct password. Password is changing every week
- Chiki I don't want to mad you, but i think we will never get to this castle - said terrified Dario
- Of course we will. Go Super-duper Chiki flying jutsu. Here take my hand, we gonna flew by the window
- I think it's a bad idea
- Why ?
- Because this sign says, that all windows are sealed by some magic spells. And also, again this book will look very unreal.
- What ? I've been living in this castle for 5 years and I even didn't knew that. Well, this book isn't a fucking autobiography of Eminem.
- Well, can I ask you one thing ?
- No
- When have you been here last time ?
- Hmmm, 6 months ago
- So, who's been guarding this castle ?
- The legendary Katsura-san
- So, where is he ?
- How the fuck can I know ? Really, Dario you starting to ask, so fucking annoying questions. Just shut the fuck up and let me think
- Well, I think, that we're wasting our time here, because you can't think
Suddenly ChikoritaBH kicked Dario to the gate. It was smashed and some evil creatures came from it.
- Just what the fuck are this things - asked Dario
Get off me you stinky fucker. Go Dario forbidden jutsu: Bodyblow !!!
All evil creatures exploded. Their leftovers landed on Chiki new shirt.
- Dario, do you know, what did you did ?!
- Well, i've just killed those dorks
- No ! You destroyed my new clothes !
- Hey Chiki, it's not a big deal. Chiki ? Fuck ! Stop chasing me !
- What do you mean by "a not big deal" ? This clothes are more valuable, than your house !
Both of them started to running deep into the castle. Dario saw unknown creatures nearby and prepared again his awesome Bodyblow jutsu, but it didn't worked.
- Chiki, stop for a moment
- What ?
- You see those creatures out there ?
- Yeah, so ?
- They didn't noticed us, but i tried my jutsu and it didn't worked on them ? Do you know what kind of monsters they are ?
- Hmmm I think... WHAT ? this are Chibi lolicon's ! But that means... Where the fuck is my harem you bastards ?
Chiki jumped into next room, simply crashing skulls of this creatures one by one. Dario stand behind and saved one of this lolicon freaks.
- Dario, what are you doing ? Just kill this fucker... NOW !
- No ! I'm gonna interrogate him !
- Ok
- And now you baka. You really thought that you gonna win with me ? You thought... WRONG hahaa. Now, do you watch Naruto ?
- Yes
- Do you think, that Gintama is the best anime ever made ?
- No
- I'm gonna fucking kill you
Suddenly Chiki hit Dario with his fist.
- Just what the fuck are you doing ? This isn't interrogation. You ask him just some stupid questions. Let me try. You stupid whinny punk ass bitch motherfucker hommie, just tell me where the fuck is my harem, because if you don't tell me, satan will rape your throat and feed your guts to the snakes !!!
- Please, don't hurt me !! I tell you everything. When you weren't around, we formed a Ichi Skulls Gang and our leader Sasuke kidnapped Katsura and now he uses him as a furniture. Also our leader is looking for One Ring in this area. He will find you soon and you'll all be dead. Hahaha
Suddenly Dario cut lolicon freak in two pieces with his sword.
- I've heard enough. No one can fuck with us. Kidnapping great Katsura ? Looking for One Ring ? It will be my pleasure to kill this Uchicha fucker ! Let's go Chiki we must hurry.
- Okay
And they went to the side of the setting sun.
Chapter 13: The Great Showdown !
- Keep running Chiki !
- I'm running can't you see ?
- Yes, but we must hurry
- Are you really, so determinated to save my harem ?
- No ! We must find the one ring, before this Uchichafucker !
- Is, that so ?
- Yes
- Then, go find this ring by yourself. I quit
- But, why ?
- I'm not gonna take competition in some lame race about some fictional ring !
- Okay, so go fuck yourself
- Yes, i will !
They split up. Chiki went to left side of island, hopping of finding his harem and Katsura, while Dario headed to the dark forest.
Man i can't see damn thing in this place. Go Fire from the sky WAIT ! If i do this jutsu, then this island will drown. Hmmm, go Fireball jutsu ! A giant fireball hit a tree. It felt down starting a big fire.
What the fuck ? The whole forest is burning. I though, that trees can't burn ! HELP ! Someone call for firetruck !!! I don't know any water jutsus ! Dario started to running from the forest, when he hit some person.
- What are you doing ? Run quickly !
Dario looked at the person. He was very big and had mask on his face. Also, he weared Deicide t-shirt. He had a giant axe in his right hand. The darkest aura was floating around him. It was him. The one, that died thousand years ago, unleashing Middle-earth from tyranny. Sauron itself. Dario looked at his left hand. There was a ring, but not so normal ring. It was, that ring to rule them all ! Sauron tried to kill Dario with slash attack, but Dario blocked it and kicked him in the face. The mask crumble and Dario saw Sauron face. He couldn't believed what he saw. It was Weedy Alien, known director of many box-office movies.
- Weedy, but how in the fuck ?
A scary voice said:
- Yes, i'm Weedy Alien. So, what ?
- I'm your biggest fan. Can you give me your autograph ?
- Yes, sure. WAIT ! This script says, that we must fight, until one of us will die
- Don't bother this thing. It's just writer stupidness. Now can you write on this paper your full name, please ?
- Okay
Sauron took paper and wrote: Weedy Alien. Dario started staring at watch.
- Why, are you looking at your watch ?
- Ah, that thing ? Because, i'm Kira
Sauron suddenly took his axe and cut his own head ! Dario started his horrifying laugh. Mwahahaha i killed Sauron. Now give me this ring. Dario went to Sauron's corpses and started to pulling off the ring. What the fuck ? Why it isn't coming out ? Ahh screw this. Dario cut off Sauron's finger with ring and hide it in his pocket. He suddenly looked at his old photo with actor Weasley Snipes. Man, when you gonna escape from this jail ? - Dario asked himself. Ohh i almost forgot. The whole fuckin' forest is burning to ashes. I must run ! He started to running, when something hit him with a rock. Later, he woke up in some cave. There were many girls around there looking at their rings. Dario was pretending, that he sleeps, when he heard a conversation:
- So, Akeno is this the ring, which you wanted to have ?
- Yes, i'm gonna use it as a furniture for my new house layout.
- But, rings have nothing to do with house layouts - said other girl
- Well, if you really wanna know, i want to give it to Chikorita as a gift
- WHAAT THE FUCK ? - screamed rising from the ground Dario
Girls jumped scared and took their swords.
- You're alive ? - asked red-hair girl
- Yes, i am and now if you are a good girl, give me this ring back !
- NO ! It is a present for very important person
- Really ? ChikoritaBH ? He doesn't want this ring !
- What ? You know Chiki ?
- Yes, because i came with him to this island. He went to rescue his harem
- But, we are his gothic harem. Where is he now ?
- How can i know ? We split up. He went to the left side of island, while i went to forest looking for this ring !
- Well, if you're Chiki friend, then you will live
- What do you mean that i will live ? And who are you people anyway ?
- I'm Rias Gremory. This little cute girl with white hair is Koneko. And this beauty is Akito. We're looking for Mei Misaki. Did you saw her ?
- I'm Daimaou, but you can call me Dario. I didn't saw any Mei, when walking to the forest. Where are you going now ? I heard, that Sasuke is looking for this ring too.
- Well, Sasuke is a bitch. He captured us, but we escaped. He thinks, that he controls the island, because of capturing Katsura, but it ain't true. I'm the vice-president of United Katsura Country and i'm mobilizing our forces to destroy his castle !
- So, where is this castle ?
- We kinda wanted to go there, but if Chiki is here, then we must first find him
- Okay, so let's go
Some facts and interesting things about ATTH: Battle Between The Fallens and Chuck:
The idea to write this book came after saying words by ChikoritaBH: "Our chats are fucking masterpieces"
The first name of this book was: 123 Facts about humans: A Tribute to Hentais and disfuction of brain
The first bodyguard of ChikoritaBH was Shitashima not Hitman, but he was cut from the book (who want a bodyguard, that is a hamster ? XD)
Chiki was supposed to be a demon, but I wanted to give this book a realistic character, so he became a fallen angel (this is stupid isn't it ?)
The first plot of ATTH was, that Dario97 stoll a game Satan's Wizard, that belong to Chuck Norris. Then Chuck would get revenge at Dario, killing Chiki, but this idea was been deleted, because Chuck Norris, doesn't have a Playstation: Satan's Edition (but Chiki does xD)
The second plot of ATTH was, that ChikoritaBH did a photo of Chuck, when he was only 0 years old, and then Chiki made a big company, that was producing a t-shirt's with this photo on it. That idea was also denied, because Chuck could sue as, because of illegally manipulating of his photos xDD
"Anti-gravity Mindfuck jutsu" was deleted from the plot, because of lack of use. After all Chiki can do those "things" without gravitation xDDD
There is a rumor, that Dario97 writes a chapter of ATTH, when he's on drugs. This information is fake.
"Cashtrasher jutsu" was also deleted from first chapter, because i didn't saw any use for this kind of power.
Someone (i think it was Chuck) spread a rumor, that Zaraki Kenpachi will not appear in this book. It's a lie. Kenpachi will be very important character.
ChikoritaBH is a reincarnation of Jiraiya-sensei, Lolicon-sama and Angry Butter. That's real information xDD
Some person said to me, that Sasuke cannot be killed. I prove her wrong, by killing Sasuke in my book. And how do you feel now mwahahah ? XDDD
Rikyu told me, that in Chapter 0, there is an error, because i wrote "It was rainy and cloudy day. The sky was blue as always". Explanation for this is simple. Behind clouds there was blue sky :P
ChikoritaBH is also Konichi-san. That person will also appear in my book.
It's not a secret, that last chapter of ATTH book will be called "The End". Are you mad ? :>
Dario97 inspiration is a famous writer Richard Castle, that even don't exist in real world.
The word "Muffin" has been really censored. Now characters say "Fuck" or "Shit" XDDDD
Povilas is a name in Lithuania language. It means Pavel *___*
This book will change history of Anime-planet. And after releasing this book third WW will come xDD
I'm not gonna explain what it's a "Daimaou diseaser", so don't use this words. They're censored by Konami and Funimation xDD
ChikoritaBH is not a prince. For further informations, please contact a doctor.
If this book will become famous i will be directing a movie about Chiki. It will be called: "16 abandoned wives and he's wanna be married again ! - A Tribute To 60 years old Chikko guy". I think it's gonna be more interesting than Transformers 3 (well, any movie can be more interesting than this xDDD), there will be more action, than in soap operas, more comedy than Gintama, and more drama than Death Note. Borat would say, that it's gonna be "a great success" XDD
Dario97 doesn't want to look like Tsunade-sama :P
I confirm, that Chiki is NOT working on a new type of tentacles.
The deleted ending of this book said, that Dario would kill Chiki and rape his daughter on his grave. This idea was rejected :P
I wanted to have Jesus in my book, but Chiki doesn't want to have in ATTH any fictional characters xDDDD
I've been informed, that drinking vodka, while reading my book is prohibited. Seriously WTF ? XDD
Nyannyan neko force won't appear in my book. They're under AnimeBrainStorm commands.
Singapure is great town, i've also been told X___X
Cola Fish Tank will not take a part in my new Drinking event.
Baby Beel is not a fictional character. It's my nephew >____<
The other ending was, that Chuck could be killed by an ball from the Ice hockey world championship. This idea was stupid, that even i couldn't approved it xDD
This book will be not licenced by Sleeping Dead Productions. It will be licenced only by Birthday Cake Demise Corp.
Thank you for reading :D
Chapter 8: Blejk Alibi
- We are smoking dreamers !
La la la la la la la la la la
Smoking dreamers !
- Chikorita ?
- What, Dario ?
- Could you just shut the fuck up already ? We walking for 2 minutes and you just sing Naruto openings !
- Well, sorry for that, but i'm just excited
- Why ? We're going to register ourselfs as a space pirates
- For what purpose ?
- Well, if you don't register yourself, then you can't go into hangar
- Okay, i get it
We were going through the ruined city, when i saw a Yu-gi-oh on a TV
- Hey isn't that Yu-gi-oh The Cancelled Series ? Man, i love this show
- Dario, we don't have time for this
- Eee yeah, right just keep going
After a while the space pirates base was very close. Dario went to a guard and said:
- Hello, mister. We're here to register ourselfs as a space pirates
- Okay, just follow me
Dario and his weird looking friends went to the building. There were many spaceships out there and that place was very big. Guard take them to a place where a red haired guy started to ask Dario questions:
- Name, please
- Darius Darius Phantomhive
- So, your second name is also Darius ?
- Well, my parents were crack addicts
- Oh, that explains everything, Occupation ?
- Butler of Hellsing Organization and music writer
- So, if you are music writer, on what instruments you play ?
- I play on one string guitar. I even can play Metallica solos on it
- Man, that's unbelievable ! I mean, next question is why want you to become space pirate ?
- Because my Sensei Sanji-kun told me, that i can become one
- Okay, one final question if you could become famous like Michael Jackson, what would you do ?
- Then i would buy a nose for myself
- That's all. You pass the exam. You can go now. Next, please
Dario went through the doors and saw Blejk walking into underground base. Just WTF is he doing ? Dario asked himself
- Name, please
- Povilas Cracovinemusolonking BleedHollow
- Seriously you want me to believe, that this is your name ?
- Yes it is, but you can write Chikorita if you don't know how to write Cracovinemusolonking
- How dare you ! Of course i know how to write it. Hmmm let's see Krakownimedosul. Occupation ?
- PrOtaku
- Why want you to join ranks of Space Pirates ?
- Because, Luffy told me, that here works the best people in the world
- Wow, that's nice. That Luffy thing guy, was right. You pass the exam. You can go now. Next, please
Chiki went through door and saw Dario running into underground base
- Hey, Dario wait for me !
- Okay, just hurry
- Now, you bald guy, what's your name ?
- Hitman
- I asked for your full name
- Hitman
- I'm trying to act nice and i'm asking you what's your full name ?!
- Hitman
- Oh, you little...
- Kurosaki Hitman
- Okay, you've got lucky this time. Occupation ?
- Serial Killer
- Wait, wha..
Suddenly, Hitman cut off red haired guy's head and put the knive in guard head
- I don't have time for this shit ! - he said
- Dario, why aren't we going down ?
- We waiting for Hitman
- I'm behind you already
- Oh, Hitman glad that you came, so quickly. Now we can go to this underground place
- Daimaou, I must ask you something. Why are we even going down ?
- Because, i saw Blejk going there
- Hmmm, Dario ?
- What, Chiki ?
- I can't see anything, because it's dark here
- Aww, i almost forgot. You don't see in darkest places do you ?
- No :(
- Then i will give you my power
- Go Dario unknown jutsu: Eye Bound
Chikorita started to see in the dark
- Hurray i see, i see
- Well don't be so happy. If i didn't done this jutsu properly, you become blind after 2 hours
- WHAAT ?
- But i think i did it right
- Hmmm i don't feel any better, because of your assurance
2 hours later
- When this fucking tunnel will end ? Dario are you sure he went this way ?
- Of course.
After a while they went to a big laboratory centrum. There were many scientists working on some strange mutants. Doors behind heroes of this book had been locked and they were trapped in some scary place
- What the fuck is this place ? - asked Chiki
- Well, i don't know - Dario answered
- But i know - some strange voice said
Dario looked behind him. It was Capten Blejk.
- Hey, Blejk i'm glad, that you're healthy. Why are you not answering on the phone ?
- As you can see i'm busy. I've crossed boundaries of this rotten world and created something perfect
- And what's that ?
- Remember, Konichi ?
- Yeah, it was our best friend. His fighting skills were far beyond possible
- Exactly. Now, you and your friends will see a miracle. Come out slave !
The ground started to shaking and a portal has been opened. A strange red light has filled the place. After some time the light dissapeared and a very known person appeared. Konichi itself ! His eyes were filled with pain and disgust of the human's world.
- Yeah, yeah this is my research success ! I've ressurected human just like my master told me i will do !
- Blejk, i must ask you one question. Who is your master ?
- Well, Dario it's a guy, that will kill you and your friends... Chuck Norris !
- But, why you betrayed us ? We've done so many things, remember ? Like, hacking to the government sites, stealing clouds from the sky. Do you remember ?
- Those were only some lame skills ! I serve only for Chuck and his order is simple. Kill Chikorita, Hitman and Daimaou. Now, Konichi go crush them all !!! Mwahahaha
- Are you fucking kidding me ? - said Chiki
Chapter 9: Good plan is Dario's plan
A fight has begun. Blejk escaped through the main door and sealed them, so nobody can leave the room. The researchers were all scared and terryfied. They try to escape, but Konichi started to slaughter them one by one.
- Listen Hitman ! When Konichi will end killing those poor bastards, you will provoke him to go into the portal. It's not active, yet, but me and Chiki will try to open it again
- I understand your plan Daimaou
Dario and Chiki went to the portal and started thinking
- How can we open it ?
- It was your idea, so try something
- Well, i could just press, that reopen button over here, but then this book will look very stupid and not cool
- Just push this button. Nothing can save this book anyway
- So, we just wait until Hitman will lead this fucker here ?
- Yeah. Wait a minute is this, what i think it is ?
Dario grabbed some newspaper and started to reading it out loud:
Today at the morning the Ichiban District was destroyed by a very unbelievable event. There was a fire rain falling from the sky. Local scientists cannot explain, what caused this event. Unofficial informations say, that all of this was caused by a man called Butter with dynamite. Local police and anti terrorits squads are now looking for him at this devastated area. Ichiban District was also sealed from humanity and many specialists from all over the world will try to identify, what really happened out there.
- This is just fucking great. This is the sixteen reason for Butter to kill me
- Dario, that means, that many stars will come to visit our town. This is amazing, isn't it ?
- No, it isn't you moron. Now, they will know about our fights with Chuck and we will become Public Enemies !
- Well, that's not so bad. After all Public Enemies was a very good band
- I'm not talking about the band you idiot. Okay, Konichi is going to us, let's open this stupid monolith
Dario pushed the button, portal has opened and Konichi simply fall into it.
- That was easy... wait where is Hitman ?
- I think Konichi grabbed him and took him to the another dimension
- Noooo, now how we will survive ?
- Wait, it's just Hitman, you have me, the great conquerer ChikoritaBH
- I don't know what's worse. The fact, that Hitman failed or that you are standing in front of me
- Don't be, so bad Daimaou, after all now we must go to our great castle, right ?
- Wait, what great castle ?
- Well, my second home is a big castle. Just wait i will call my friend
- Hello, Kai. Me and my friend are in the United Space Pirates base in Poland. Could you fly to this destination and take us to the United Katsura Country ?
- No problem, we'll see ourselfs in 5 minutes
- Okay, thanks. Now, Dario let's go from this crappy place. I'm kinda hungry right now
- You never told me, that you had a castle !
- Well, I'm full of suprises
- I thought, you were full of sh.. whatever. How we gonna open this doors ?
- Look here ! It's a thing called handle. When you push it down the doors will open
- Are you making a fun of me ? I know that you baka Chiki ! Just open it !
- Okay
Chiki went and pushed the handle. He broke it.
- You IDIOT ! What have you done ?
- It wasn't my fault. I can repared it
- Don't bother. Go Dario super special awesome kick: Double Door Roll
The doors were smashed and they run upstairs.
- Now, we are in the same location, that we were talking to this red haired guy, but i can't see him
- Maybe, because he's in halfs ?
- What ?
- Just look on the floor
- Now i get it. Whatever. We just go to the nippon street.
5 minutes later
- Your friend was supposed to land here some time ago !
- Don't be so urgent. He will land here in a moment. Look he's here !
A big jet landed on the street and a beautiful bi-shounen character got out from it
- I already hate this guy - said Dario in his mind
- You see Dario ? Just come and say hi to him
They went to jet and Dario said:
- Hello
- Hi
- I'm Daimaou
- But it can be healed ?
- What ?
- This Daimaou disease
- No, it can't be
- Hey Kai don't think you're funny, because your not. Now Dario sit behind the pilot sits. We're flying to the Corrode Island
Kai started engines and they started flying in the sky
- By the way where is this island ? - Dario asked
- It's on the Dead Sea. This island has only one country called: United Katsura Country and it's capital is Joy Town
- Good to know, now you Kaifuck can you pilot this piece of junk properly ?!
- Don't call it piece of junk, you Daimaou diseaser. It's my love Teru
- Well, it can't be compared to Butter Jet Prototype. Oh damn it. It wasn't in that space pirate base !
- Then where is it ?
- I don't know, but Butter will be mad
10 minutes later
- You see Dario ? This is my island
- It looks kinda small to me
- Don't be so rude. Now Kai land this jet on the left side of the island
- No problem Povilas
- Hahahahahha
- What's so funny Dario ?
- Povilas ? Really your name is Povilas ? Man i can't stand it Hahaha
Suddenly Chiki kicked out Dario from the landing jet. He hit the water at the see
- Help ! Somebody help me, i can't swim !!!
The jet landed and Chiki got out from it.
- Thanks Kai, see you later
- See ya
Kai started engines again and flew into a random direction, while Dario was still screaming
- Chiki i'm sorry, help me
- Okay i use my flying skills
Chiki started to flying and put Dario on the ground. Suddenly Dario kicked Chiki with all of his force. Chikorita hit a tree simply crashing it.
- You baaakaaaa ! How could you kick off me out of jet ? And why you even flew in this jet, while you can fly by yourself you moron ?!
Chiki stand on his feet and said:
- Because Kai can't know that i'm so badass
- Why ?
- Because, then we will have a duel with beyblades and i suck in this game
- Oh i get it now. Then i will not say it to him, unless you gonna kick me again without reason !!!
- Okay, okay i'm sorry, Now come with me. We must go to this castle !!
- Yes, i know that
Chapter 10: Searching for Vengeance: Butter Re-Awakening
Man this river is cold like snow. I walked out from the river and looked at the devastated Ichiban District. This place is sooo dead. How this baka Dario could leave me here alone ? Man, when i find him i tore him into thousand pieces. Help me ! Someone shouted. I looked behind me and i saw a man with head put in the wall.
- Hey, are you this man which fought with Daimaou recently ?
- Yes, i am. Can you help me ?
- No way you fucking psycho ! You almost killed me with your kick. Now it's time for payback mwahahaha
I went to this idiot and started to kick him in his ass.
2 hours later
Man i'm so tired, because of kicking you. Hey, are you alive ? Hmm he's not answering. Maybe, he got coma. Wait, what's that. The ground started to shaking. If that's another event, caused by Dario i'm gonna fucking meet Sherlock Holmes in a matter of time.
- Yo, what's up dog ?
I looked behind me. I couldn't believe what i saw. It was... Sherlock Holmes
- Are you Sherlock Holmes ?
- Yes, i'm
- But, you are dead for hundreds of years !
- No, i'm not. As long as they gonna do movies about me, i will never die
- Glad to hear that, but what are you doing in this place ?
- Well, you really don't read newspapers do you ? Many specialists from all over the world were sent here to investigate this fire from the sky case. We must look for clues, witnesses and a man called Butter with dynamite. We must catch him and bring him to Uchicha Sasuke, that will interrogate him. By the way, what's your name ?
I've been terrified. I had to remain calm.
- My name is Billy. Billy Hoyle. I'm your number one fan. Could you give me your autograph ?
- Yes, of course no problem. So, Billy are you living here ?
- No, i've came here for my vacation. My brother runs a shop called Burning Kuso
- Hmmm, so you didn't saw, that fire from the sky ?
- No, i arrived here just moment ago and i was shocked
- Well, don't worry. I'm gonna just bring you to police office and then you gonna tell all what you saw here to Sasuke
Fuck i need to do something, because this Uchichafuck will do something nasty to me. Think Butter, think. I've got it
- Okay, but before we go we must drink my soda, before it will become radioactive
- Sure, no problem. Here fill my bottle with it
Haha this guy is such a idiot. He can't be Sherlock. I'm gonna just give him this dieoactive soda and farewall Holmes, farewall mwahaha.
- Here you go Sherlock
- Thanks, but can you drink it before me ? Sasuke told me, that in Ichiban District, there are many people, that try to rape innocent mans.
Fuuuck. This Uchicha fucker. How could he know my plan ? Hmm just calm down Butter, calm down.
- Glad, that Sasuke thinks about you so much
- Yeah, he's very nice and c..
Suddenly i crashed his bottle on his head. He fell down on the ground. Fuck, that was not good. Now, i'm gonna be chased by a bunch of detectives.
- Butter with dynamite ! Lay down on the ground and take your hands in the air now !
I looked around myself. I was surrounded by Delta Force squad. What can i do, what i can do ?
Suddenly a smoke bomb came out of nowhere, blinding me and those freaks. I felt, that someone grabbed me and took me to the car. We started to escaping, but this thing, just covered my eyes, so i couldn't see anything. After a while my eyes were uncovered and i saw someone very known.
- Uzumaki Naruto ! Just what are you doing here ?
- Shut up you dumbass. They all gonna hear us and chase us, because of your stupidity
- Sorry, but who sent you ?
- Really, you don't know ? Daimaou convinced me to have an eye on you, because you can be linked into another shit, like, that in Vietnam 2 years ago
- Wait, so this giant Fox, that escorted me to American border was you ?
- Yes, you idiot. I rescued your ass many times, only because Dario told me to do it
- I can't believe, that Dario is so worried about me
- Well, he's not worried about you, but about his reputation. If some punk like you was captured and tortured. You simply revelled every secret about him, so he decided to cover you for almost 5 years
- So, when i was in junior high, when those bullies try to beat me up, that giant bee was also sent by Dario to help me win ???
- It was not giant bee. It was Killer Bee and how can you even remember this ? I think, that Men in Black cleaned your memories about it.
- What ? Men in black are real ?
- Yes, what did you think ? That Aliens don't exist ? Look around you man, you even can't realise how many times Master Chief was sent to kill all of Xenomorphs on Tatooine.
- What the fuck are you talking about ? Those things can't be real
- Well, don't be suprised when a fucking Predator will blow your head off
- Wait, what ?
- Just shut the fuck up and let me drive. My mission is to escort you to the District 9. It will take 15 minutes to get there. When we gonna arrive there, Sammy The Brave and James Bond will take care of you
15 minutes later
- Alright we're here. Oh look there it's James Bond. Hey come over here
I saw Sammy The Brave and James Bond heading to our direction. I looked at Sammy. I couldn't believe, that this stupid dog could talk. And i really couldn't believe, that Naruto is the real Naruto. Something wasn't right. Suddenly Sammy bite me and i started to fading out. I saw, that Naruto was killed by pistol bullets. I woke up later. I was sitting in front of Chuck Norris in some dark room. Where am I - I asked but there was no answer. Chuck took my phone and called to Dario.
Meantime at United Katsura Country
- Hmmm, Chiki give me your phone i must call to Butter and apologize him.
- Okay, but just keep walking, because you can get lost on this island without me
- Yes, i know
- Hello, Butter ? Well, i'm sorry that i left you on th..
- It's not Butter. It's Chuck here
- Just what the...
- I have Butter with dynamite here and i'm really mad
- So, what ?
- If you not gonna surrender now, i will have to kill your best friend
- So, go and kill him. I'm kinda tired right now, so can you call me later on this number ?
- Wai..
- See, ya !
I saw suprised Chuck face. He said to me:
- He just turned off his phone
- WHAT ?
- Man i thought i captured best friend of Daimaou, but he doesn't care about you
- So, what you gonna do to me ?
- Well, GUARDS !
- Yes, sir !
- Throw him into a dumbster
- WHAAAT ?
Guards took me and throw me into some shitty dumbster on some poor street. Where am I ?
Chapter 11: Dumbster Adventures
- Hey, Chiki this castle is still kinda far, so can you give me your phone again ?
- For what purpose ?
- Well, i must give call to James
- Okay, here take it. I have other phones, so i give this one to you
- Thanks, men. You're polite like a burning neko
- What ?
- I mean like a very good person
Meanwhile at unidentified location
James Bond & Sammy were in some underground russian base. Everywhere were guards and atomic rockets. Fight has started. James was shoting his enemies with a M-16.
- Hey, Sammy bite this poor bastard in this ass !
- Okay
So, as you can read, Sammy really can talk. After James order, Sammy started to bite every enemies he saw. When on battlefield was only one bad guy he turned on the bomb.
- James come quickly here. This idiot turned on the bomb !
- How many time is left ?
- 2 minutes
- Okay, so i just take this scissors and... wait Sammy i'm color-blind. Which wire is green ?
- Well, it's this on l..
- Hold on, someone is calling to me
- Hey, James we're in the middle of something !
- Shut up, it's Daimaou
- Hello, James. Are you busy right now ?
- No, i'm just trying to turn off the bomb that will destroy whole Europe, so yeah i'm not busy
- But, James..
- Shut up ! I wasn't talking to you Dario. So, what do you want ?
- I have transmitter in Butter eye and i can see, that he sits now in the dumbster on some dirty street in Berlin, so can you go there and save him ?
- Yes, just wait a minute. Now Sammy which wire is green ?
- That on your left side
- Okay, so i'm gonna cut it... now
- Wait !!
- What ?
- I mean on my left side
- So, which is my side ?
- Right
- Okay, so i'm gonna cut it
- But, what's gonna happen if the right wire is red ?
- Then, whole Europe will become post-apocaliptic like Africa
- But, Africa isn't post-apocaliptic
- So, what ? I'm cutting the green one
Bond cut the green wire and the counting to bombing has stopped.
- Hurray, it was right decision. Now, Dario we'll going to Berlin, so don't worry we gonna save your friend
- Okay, that's good, but he's not my friend
10 hours later
Fuck it's so cold in this dumbster, i can't get out my legs from it. God, why you forsaken me ?
- I haven't forsaken you, you're just an idiot
- Wait, who said that ?
Butter looked down and he saw some old guy looking like Dumbledore.
- Hey you old geezer, get the fuck out of here, i'm trying to win Oscar here !!!
The old man vanished
- What the fuck was that ? It couldn't be god. Unless...sorry man you probably was Gandalf, so i'm truly sorry about my mistake.
Now where was i ?
- Hey, Butter how long do you plan on sitting in this shitty dumbster ?
Butter looked down again. He saw Sammy and James.
- We're here to rescue you so get off of this thing and come with us
- But, i can't. I'm stuck here !
- Don't worry. Go shuriken no jutsu !
The dumbster was cut into 2 pieces
- Sammy you idiot, you could just separate my legs from head. But, wait, how did you even throw shuriken, when you're dog ?
- Because, i'm a PRO. Now follow us, we're going to United Katsura Country.
- Okay, i understand
And so, the very not important heroes of this crappy book went to United Katsura Country, but they were suprised, that the island was separated from the land by water, so they never really get there.
Thank you for reading :3
Chapter 4: Drop Off - Am I Alive ?
- Whooaaa we are flying ! - I said
- Just shut the fuck up. I can't hear my thoughts
- Ok.
(5 seconds of silence)
- So, hitman what are you doing ?
- I'm writing a message for Daimaou
- That's good
- Chikorita we gonna be dropped in no far time
- What ?
- I'm s-a-y-i-n-g t-h-a-t w-e g-o-n-n-a b-e d-r-o-p-p-e-d i-n n-o f-a-r t-i-m-e
- W-h-y a-r-e y-o-u t-a-l-k-i-n-g l-i-k-e t-h-i-s ?
- Because i can ! now... wait what's that ?
Not far away there were some creatures moving towards location of our stupid heroes of this book.
- Hey ! These are Chukoritores ! Sam speed up !
- But i can't !
- Ok Dario thanks for your lessons it's time to use this
- This ?
Gate Nr.666 release Gravity Manipulation Jutsu !
- It's time to have some fun.
Chikorita started to jumping over monsters and throw them at each other with his manipulation power. He jumped back to Sam wing and said:
Dark Rain no jutsu !
Suddenly it's started to rain. All Chukoritores have been stunned and Chikorita said:
It's time to one kick ass jutsu !
- What is it ?
Bad Communication Jutsu !
The creatures started to spinning and in no time they exploded.
- What the hell was that ?
- It is my special jutsu that i learned by mixing Break for me jutsu made by Dario97 and Spinner time jutsu made by Anakin.
- Which Anakin ?
- Anakin Skywalker of course
- So, he lives ?
- Yes, but for now he just runs a dojo called "Drunking dragon"
- What ?
- Shut up you two. It's time to go to our destination. If we gonna be late Dario's will be mad
- Okay Hitman.
They started to moving forward but then suddenly Sam was halved in two pieces.
- What the f...
Hitman and Chikorita started to falling to the ground. Higher Aaron was floating above the ground with his killer's face.
Chapter 5: Fire From The Sky
- So, Butter did you hacked the system yet ?
- Wait a minute ! I'm still working on it
- For the hands of death
Reaching through the night
Death comes swiftly from above
The universe has come undone
Fire from the sky !
- Wait a minute what are you doing right now ?
- Well, i'm singing
- About what ?
- Fire from the sky
- Exactly, just aren't you afraid that something like that will haunt us
- Why ?
- Because if we don't destroy Ally Country Of Norris Brothers there will be a great war !
- Butter just shut the fuck up. You drinked to much and i know it. You thought, that i wouldn't notice that !
- What ?
- You are addicted to cola !
- No i'm not. Now watch on the road. You gonna put me into another shit !
- Yes of course, but it seems, that everything that happens now is because you forgot that damn password to this fake banana !
- No ! It's because you have started a big fight with Chuck !
- No ! It's because you have become a stupid slave of Syndicate. You should listen to this what is talking to you right now !
- And what's that ?
-...Fire from the sky !
- Just stop singing this. It will be a terrible disaster if you gonna sing that song !
- Well you got luck. I now only chorus, so don't worry be happy
- Wait what's that ?
I looked into sky and noticed, that Hitman and Chikorita are flying on Sam.
- Don't worry it's Sam,
Suddenly, a big person respawn behind Fisher and cut him into two pieces. Chikorita and Hitman started to falling down.
- Speed up dumbass ! - Butter started to scream
- I can't
Suddenly i found myself on atomic wasteland. What is that ? - i asked myself.
- It's world !
- Wait who is that ? Show yourself !
Far away was standing a man. He started to approach my destination. When the sun stopped blinding my eyes i saw him. It was me, but different me. His eyes were cut off and face had many scars and wounds.
- Just what happened to you ?
He smiled.
- Well, it's all, because you haven't listened to him then.
- Who ?
- Yourself ! There is a corner in your soul, that you never know of it. It's place, where justice and light doesn't exist. Just hear it. Hear the calling and it's gonna give you power. Power that now can save your friend's life.
- But how i do that ?
- It's simple. It's taking control of you right now.
- Dario ? Hey Dario, what are you doing ? - Butter was asking, but there was no answer.
Dario left the car and Butter take over the wheel. He jumped to Chikorita's destination and saved him from falling down. Hitman landed without any trouble. Dario put back Chikorita on the ground and attacked Aaron with his fists. Aaron started to avoiding them, but he couldn't. He was hit with all of Dario's force. He flew over a bridge and fall to the lake.
- What do you mean ?
- You are fighting with Aaron right now, but your soul is now here. isn't that simple ?
- Well it isn't ! Just take me back to the real world !
- No ! I was sended here to kill you.
- But why do you do such a thing ?
- You don't understand do you ?
I'm from the future. The war has ended. Chuck won, because of your and Chikorita lack of experience. You were blinded by greed and pride, which you have been given by fooling Chuck once. But now, there is no time for this explanation. I must kill you, so the world will be saved from destruction !
- Yeah, right and you really think i'm gonna simply give up ? Go Dario secret jutsu "Super spider rescue force".
Suddenly, a division of spiders respawn, behind bad Dario and tried to kill him, but he simply crushed them with one hit.
- That's all, what great Daimaou has ? You are pathetic, there is no hope for you.
- Forgive me Blejk, because i'm about to sin.
- What ?
- Dario contract respawn jutsu !
A giant frogman has respawn with a long list. He went to Dario and said:
- Welcome Daimaou. I thought that we never gonna meet again
- Well, Pinky boy the world has always a bunch suprise for us.
- Yes, what do you want now ?
- I want to sell a 15% of my soul to unlock "this"
- Hey weirdos ! - bad Dario screamed
- Oh Pinky boy look at him, he looks just like me, right ?
Pinky boy looked at evil Dario and said:
- It's not you. He is a imposter. He just went through Botox surgery.
- What ?! How dare you to insult me ! i was send here to save the world and now i'm talking to a fucking frog. I think i was send back to late to save humanity. This is a fucking joke. I'm going back. See ya fuckers !
Evil Dario dissapeared and the conversation between the old friends has been continued
- So, Frogman can you give me "this"
- Yes of course, just write here a word "Muffin"
- Okay
Dario wrote that word and a giant head and hands of Dan Green respawned.
Dan took a soul slayer from his mouth, put it in his hands and stabbed Dario with it. A white mass has been sucked into the sword. it was Dario's soul. When the sword stopped absorbing energy Dan took it and dissapeared.
- See ya Dario i'm gonna be late for new episode of Bleach ! - said Pinky boy
- Wait Pinky ! Bleach has ended already ! And by the way i have a question.
- What ?! Bleach has ended. Somebody gonna lose his head today ! So what do you wanna know ?
- How can i get out of here ?
- There are door behind you. See ya !
- What ?
Dario looked behind and saw a door flying around the wasteland.
Wait ! Comeback here you stupid door. I want go back home ! Shimatta !
Meantime in real world
Aaron has teleported from the lake to Dario and tried to kick him, but Dario grabbed his leg and broke it.
- Hey Dario wait for me ! I want some fun too - shout Chikorita
He said "Muffin" and started to flying, but Dario threw Aaron into Chikorita and they both fall to the ground.
Hitman looked at Dario and saw his scary smile. He levitated and laugh like a devil.
That's not Daimaou - said Hitman
- Get off me you stinky bastard ! - screamed Chikorita kicking Aaron in other direction.
- Hey you - said Dario
- Me ? - asked Chikorita
- Yes you ! I'm gonna kill you next !
At the same time in fake world
Get over here fucking annoying door. Dario grabbed door and opened it. He found himself at the place with many doors. Which are the doors to my world ? He opened one and saw Tristam. Well it's not my world and besides i don't want to fight Diablo again. He went further and opened next door. There was a war between man and machines. No ! I don't want have this terrible dream when i'm human again. Wait ! I'm human. WTF ? He randomly opened next door and started falling to the ground. Suddenly, Chikorita kicked him.
- What are you doing idiot ?
- You wanted to kill me !
- Me ? No fucking way, watch out there is Aaron behind you ! Chikorita jumped to Dario destination.
- Hitman come over here !
Hitman came to their destination.
- We must come up with plan. We can't fight with this ugly creation just like that. Look at him he is mad, because Dario broke his leg !
- I did ?
- Yes and you pissed him off too. Baka !
- Hitman !
- Yes, Daimaou ?
- Take Chikorita deep to the ground i'm gonna end this with one jutsu !
- Ok
- Hey what are you doing Hitman put me down.
- Sorry but i can't. Go teleportation jutsu !
Hitman and Chikorita vanished. There were only 2 creatures on the battlefield
Okay Aaron. It's time to destroy you. Go secret ninjutsu "Fire from the sky"
Dario jumped to the lake and started drilling a passage deep to the ground, while a fire started falling from the sky. Aaron started to burning and choking, but he couldn't survive. His demise caught him.
Chapter 6: Hollow Inside
I was under water. Fire after a while stopped falling and i reached the surface. There were burned ground and destroyed buildings everywhere.
- Fuck ! I overdosed this time with power. It's gonna be a scandal from it
I reached to my pocket and take off phone from it. I tried call to Hitman
- Sorry, your cash has ended. Please, fill cash to your account or fuck you
- Wait, what ? Whatever. I'm glad, that my phone is still working. It was under water. My powers protected this thing from flooding. I'm sugoi am I ?
- No you don't !
- Wait who is this ?
- I'm behind you
I turned off and saw a man in white clothes and scar on his face with sunglasses on it.
- Who are you ?
- Who am i ? What a stupid question. I am I !
- Listen i'm gonna call you Ugly-sama ! Now find me some phone. I must give a call to someone
- You don't realise in what you have been thrown ?
- Well, just before you came here i was in a fucking lake trying not to become a burning fish like this one !
This white-fuck guy thing looked at Aaron corpse.
- What ? It's Aaron ! Who did this to him ?
- Are you stupid or something ? There was a fucking fire rain just a while ago. This guy didn't stand a chance against it. Just bring me some phone !
- Wait ! I just arrived here minute ago. Tell me what happened here !
- So, this guy tried to kill me and my friends. I just used my new power to destroy him.
- What ? It can't be. How a jackass like you could kill my sensei !
- What did you say ? Jackass ? You gonna apologize me right now or die like him !
- Hahaha you are just some bullshit punk, who just think that can insult my senpai ? I'm gonna teach you some maniers, brat !
- To your information i am Daimaou, a ruler of this world. Now bow before me !
Ugly-sama run to me and kicked me. I flew some way and hit the street. I looked at my watch. It was destroyed.
- You shithead ! That's it. I summon now my Monkey army ! Go Summoning No Jutsu !
Suddenly, a squad of robot monkeys appeared.
- March my slaves. Fuck his ass now !
2 minutes later
- Help me. Somebody taskete ! Help ! Save me from this nightmare.
- No one will save you. Nobody's here.
Suddenly someone punched me again. I flew again through the same stupid street !
- Just what are you doing baka ? Cancel this show now !
- Okay. Vanish my monkey slaves. See ya soon
- ugujugujuguj - monkeys answered and vanished
I got up by myself and saw a furious face of Butter.
- How could you leave me there. I could get killed by flames baka, baka, baka konoyairu
- Sorry Butter, i totally forgot about you
- Well, there won't be any excuse for your s..
Suddenly Ugly-sama kicked Butter to the river.
- Listen you Daimaou freak. I don't give a fuck who was it, but we still didn't end our fight ! Go 8D punch strike jutsu !
Ugly-sama started to punch Dario very faster. Dario grabbed him and throw him at the building. His head thrust into wall.
- I never forgive you ! You destroyed my phone ! - Dario shouted
Suddenly a white mask with some black parts started to creating on his face. He losed control of his body. A new Dario said:
- Is there, is there, is there, is there someone to kill ? Mwahahaha
He laugh, like a scream of Kyo from Dir En Grey xD
A dark aura started to appearing on him.
Meanwhile, original Dario was standing in some old warehouse. It was very dark there. He couldn't even see his own shadow.
- Ijahahahahaah - someone laugh
- Who is that ?
- It's a me, dog
- Well, i can't see you in this dark place, so could you please get some light here
- How could you not see me ?
- Because it's freakin' dark here. Can i go home already ?
- No you can't. Okay, then i will give a light to this place
Suddenly, the room was filled with bright light. There was a person standing in front of Dario. It was also Dario, but with one exception. A black body.
- A..hahahahahahaha - Dario started laughing
- What's so funny ? - asked Black Dario
- No wonder i couldn't saw you back then. It's probably hard to see you at night, Hmm am i right ? ahaha
- Are you making fun of me ?
- Yes
- Then could you be so polite and give me your body then ?
Black Dario attacked Dario. Dario's hands were cut off.
Meantime in real world
Dario's transformation into a hollow was already in it's final state. He was preparing a Cebro Attack to destroy the world
- What have you done to my arms ?
- Hihi mwahahaha i just cut them off. I will kill you and rule over the world !
- But why ?
- Because, i am Hollow
- But why ?
- Because, i'm evil
- But...why ?
- I don't know, i'm just evil, What you expect ?
- Well, you are fake me. That's what i see. Also, this is my world right ? So, vanish bitch ! Go Dario's Special Leg Jutsu: Mind Crush !
Evil Dario disappeared and transformation into a Hollow stopped. Hollow body vanished and there was again normal Dario standing. With a mask of course !
Chapter 7: Blinded By Mask - A Feeling Of Darkness
What is this ? Why i can't see anything. What ? I have a mask on my face. How can i put it off ? That way or maybe that ? Fuck this is just brilliant. Now i don't even see is there a enemy behind my back. While saying, that there was a person standing behind him.
Meanwhile at secret destination
- Hitman just why you brought me here ?
- This are secret caves, that were asylum for Batman
- What ? But, Batman does not exist !
- No, he exist and feels pretty good
- Hitman ! We must turn back and help Dario
- Why, he didn't asked for help
- Well, i know him for a week i simply feel, that he could lost his phone or something
- Okay, then. Let's rescue Daimaou then. Come we must hurry
Meanwhile at destroyed city of Poland
- Hey is anybody out here ? Please, help me put this mask off. I can't see a damn thing
- I help you - said mysterious person
- Okay, just take it off
Dario's mask was taken off by a person, that he never believed, that would help him. It was him. The forgotten one ! Dario took mask from his hand and started to running. Chuck respawned in front of him and kicked him in his face. Dario started to flying, while Chuck's very fast kicks were simply throwing Dario in different directions. Dario was feeling pain. When, a yu-gi-oh card was torn in pieces in his pocket, by Chuck's kicks, Dario heard a voice.
- Put me back
He though he just going insane, but the voice was repeating, He looked at his mask. It wasn't so special at all, but Dario had nothing to lose. He put mask on his face and simply fade out. A Hollow has awaken inside him. He grabbed Chuck's head and stuck it with all his force in rock. Chuck vanished and started hitting Hollow Dario.
- Ahahaha that's all you've got ? I can't believe, that Dario was so afraid of you. Go Dark Blade Jutsu !
A dark blade appeared and Hollow Dario grabbed it and tried to stab Chuck. The forgotten one was avoiding blade by his legs, that had many reiatsu in it. The fight was at final state. They were so fast, that typical human, couldn't see them fighting. After a while Chuck was tired and Hollow's power was still rising. Chuck was terrified, by a look of his opponent. He was looking with every second more scary and insane. He was still laughing
- What's that ? The great Norris is tired ? Really, you are more annoying, than dog shit. It's time to end this now ! Zebel Blast !
A big wave of dark power, tried to kill Chuck, but he activated his defense. He survived Zebel Blast attack, but his leg was Hollow Dario's next victim. He respawned behind Chuck and bite his leg ! Chuck's leg started bleeding. He started to run and making some marks on his hand. Suddenly, a passage before him was open and he jumped to it. Hollow Dario didn't make it on time to jump into this monolith. I will kill you, just wait Chuck.
- Go away !
- What ?
- Go away ! I don't need you
Dario's left hand tried to remove mask from his head.
- What are you doing ? Stop !
- I don't need you. Just perish Akuma !
After some time Dario removed the mask and he saw again this rotten world.
- Hurray i'm back
- Dario ?!
Dario looked behind him. There were Chikorita and Hitman running into his direction
- Hey, why are you back here ?
- I sensed, that you were in trouble
- Yes, my phone was kinda... destroyed
- You see Hitman ? I knew it
- Yeah, Chikorita you were right. What are your orders Daimaou ?
- Well, it's time to rescue Capten Blejk. The space pirates base is not far ahead. So we just walk there :3
Thanks for reading ^__^
Chapter 0: The Begining
It was rainy and cloudy day. The sky was blue as always and my cola has ended. I was terrified and went to buy some of it. I saw strange shadow following me, but i tried to ignore it. When i was back I sit again on my awesome chair, but then visions of the past started to haunt me again. There was a black raven flying around red, burning river. He looked at me and sayed: Your destiny has finally caught up with you. Soon you gonna uncover the site, where you gonna find a fallen angel which gonna help you fightning with "Him". I asked the raven: With who i'm gonna fight ? The raven dissappeared, but his final word sayed "Texas". I woke up. I was again siting in front of my crappy computer. I was fooling around and i found a site. It was called pretty normal. The banner sayed "Anime-Planet". I clicked there and registered myself. After sometime i found a guy named ChikoritaBH. We started to chat. We were having great fun then, but we really do not know in what event we gonna take a part. It was seventh day of our chating. Suddenly someone respawn behind me. It was him. The forgotten one. The first creature created by a God. He was standing and looking at me. Chuck Norris itself. I called my dog Sammy The Brave. A great battle has begun. Me and my dog against creature more powerful than even God. We started our strikes, but Chuck was simply avoiding them. After a while we started to winning, or we thinked so. Chuck looked really tired, but it was his strategy to make us too softy. I created a seal and tried to seal this unholy beast to another dimension, but he was to powerful. Even Kyubi didn't stand a change against him. I prepared my rip-off jutsu of Naruto. Go Rasen-shuriken ! Chuck absorbed some of the damage, but he couldn't stop it. Me and Sammy have opportunity to destroy him, but yet we didn't think that he could have such awesome powers. He simply run through the walls. He already knew that I and Chikorita were reincarnation of his most feared enemies. He regenerated his strength and tried to assault Chikorita's house. I gaved to my ally power to manipulate gravity and he was prepared to meet his nemesis. Chuck senses were wrong. He couldn't find Chikorita's home, but he found island were Hugh Laurie was preparing for new role for new tv series called "Dr. Box". With all of my chakra i teleported to Chikorita's home and became his sensei. A huge war has started back then. A war that no one can stop. A war between the Fallens and Chuck.
Chapter 1: The Ally Country Of Norris Brothers
- Faster ! Chikorita remember this, that you must faster write the word Muffin on your shoulder with blood. If you not gonna do this properly you gonna die !
- But it's just to hard
- Don't worry i have trust in you.
I pushed Chikorita from tower. He was falling down pretty fast, but i knew, that he eventually won't become a part of street (you know what i mean right ?). Before the ground he write spell and started to flying. Yeah i'm flying - he shouted. But he was knocked out by the road sign.
- Man i must always heal you. Does anything, that you are involved with end as a failure ?
- No, but my pet snake was murdered by my maid
- What the f... - I asked myself
- Go to your home and wait for my guards there. They will be there in a few hours. By that time don't open door to anyone or Shinigami gonna find you
- Wait ! Why does Shinigami want to find me ?
- No reason
I teleported myself to my house. It was in ruin. Chuck was here and was looking for something. I saw a torn photo. The leftovers of it were me, but someone was missing. It was my old friend Capten Blejk from the Konoyarou town. I felt terrified. What the hell Chuck's wants from him ? I reached for the phone and call him, but there was no answer. I was pissed off, because my chakra wasn't regenerating so fast. Someone knock to my door. It was my old friend called Butter with dynamite.
- Capten Blejk was captured ! - he shouted
- By who ?
- You don't believe, but it was Aaron Norris !
- It can't be. He died in a car accident, when he fell down from the cliff, because he was blind and everyone know, that blind people cannot drive a car without breaking the rules of Kami-sama !
- I'm telling you it's truth. And i can pretty say that he saw us. I escaped, but Blejk didn't had much luck. Aaron kidnapped him and run off stealing our new jet prototype.
- Wait did you just said jet prototype ?
- Yeah, we actually started some tests, but then this fucker attacked us.
- But how he can be alive ?
- Our organization called Syndicate think, that he was ressurected by Chuck, but we still checking this information.
- Who is spying on them ?
- Our best agent BK201. He also find out that the Ally Country Of Norris Brothers has been formed !
- What about it ?
- Well our informators said, that the members of them are leftovers of Akatsuki and Samurai Pizza Cats, but this information can be fake
- But were he can be moving right now ?
- Well we installed transmitter on it, so don't worry.
Butter took from his pocket a wierd thing and then I asked:
- Why this looks like a banana ?
- It isn't banana baka yarou. It's a equipment only for space pirates. Now wait a moment
Several minutes later
- Why for fuck sake you can't track him down ?
- I forgot password to it
- You little...
Chapter 2: Chikorita's Path
Where are they ? They suppossed to show up after 2 minutes. Wait ! Dario said that they gonna be after few hours. With that thought someone kicked door out and screamed:
- Are you ChikoritaBH ?
- Yes i am - i said scarred to death
- Well, that's good i'm Hitman your new bodyguard. And this is Sam Fisher.
- Where is he ? - I asked
- I'm in this aquarium dumbass !
- What ? I thinked that Fisher is just name. I don't thinked, that you gonna be fish.
- Well i'm sick of hearing it for fucking thousand time. Why we even have to protect this guy ?
- Because it's order from Lord Daimaou
- Wait. Who is Daimaou ?
- It's a person, that is stronger than any human on this planet. He is called sometimes Dario97 and sometimes Angel Of Death.
- Ok i think i know about who you are talking about, So what's your name ?
- I'm Fisher idiot !
- I wasn't talking to you !
- I'm Hitman
- Yeah i already know that, but what's your name ?
- Hitman
- Hurray i'm surrounded by idiots
Suddenly, a phone called. Hitman take it and started a conversation.
- Yes, we are protecting him. Yes, we have become friends. Yes, Fisher also accept him
- Yeah right - said Sam
- What ? Blejk was captured, that's terrible. No i didn't watched new episode of Gintama'
- Hold on is this Dario calling ?
- Yes
- Gimme him
- Halo ?
- Yes i'm listening.
- I want some answers.
- Yes i'm listening
- Stop saying i'm listening !
- Yeah what do you wanna know ?
- I wanna know... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ?!
- Well, my friend Capten Blejk was captured by The Ally Country Of Norris Brothers and now i'm gonna go with my friend chasing the new jet.
- What did you just said ?
- I said that i'm gonna fucking go to space pirates base. Hitman gonna take you there too, so don't panic.
- Wait just in what fucking event did you linked me to ? And what are space pirates ?
- Well i'm simply don't gonna say that they are downloading illegally stuff about space. They are piloting spaceships, Now gimme back Hitman. I must say in what hangar you gonna be dropped.
- Did you just say dropped...HEY Hitman gimme back this phone now !
- Sorry, but i can't. Hangar number 666. Ok i understand. No ! I'm not gonna watch One Piece !
Ok gentleman. Fisher it's time for your spelljutsu.
Fisher said: The Blazing Wings jutsu.
Suddenly, Fisher was becoming more bigger and his hands were changed to wings.
- Ok Chikorita. Here is our transport to hangar. Now get on. We must hurry !
Chapter 3: Trying to move on ! - Dario tribute
- Ok ! Hitman said that they gonna be there. Did you found password yet ?
- Wait, i'm still hacking to it's system
- I cannot believe that you are such a dork. How can you even hack it ? It's a banana and it doesn't have any hole to hack in.
- Well you can say that, but this technology is from Syndicate. It's not simple to break it.
- I think, that this technology was made by some nerds who cooperated with Billy Hoyle.
- Who is Billy Hoyle ?
- I don't even know and that proves something.
- What ?
- That this technology is a piece of crap. Now come with me. We must find some taxi to take us to the space pirates base.
We walked through the streets and saw a taxi. Taxi ! - i screamed. It doesn't stop.
- You've got to be shiting me
I went to my home for self-made bazooka with target finding.
- It's time for some destruction
- Wait you can't just blow a taxi, because the damn taxi driver didn't stop when you called him !
- Why not ?
- It's against the law !
- Law ? I don't know about who you are talking right now.
I fired up. The rocket hit the taxi. The taxi driver escaped from the car. When we saw who was driving it we were shocked. It was Terry Ping. The guy which was our worst enemy, because he was camping in Battlefield 3 and had ping over 150.
- Hey Ping ! What are you doing out here ? Still trying to get a job ? Well, i must say, that i'm not gonna pay for those damages at your car.
- What ? It's you ! How dare you destroying every job that i'm doing ?
- Because i'm a Daimaou. Now go find me some taxi
- NO !
Dario special move: Mind possesion jutsu !
- Now go find me some car and bring it to me !
- Yes, master !
3 Minutes later
- What the fuck ? I only told you to bring me some car. Not taking it with your two hands ! Nevermind that. Just put it very slowly on the ground without breaking it !
- Yes, master !
- Ok Butter we have some transport.
- But what we gonna do with him ?
- Pingfuck !
- Yes, master ?
- Go to the bridge and jump the fuck off !
- Yes, master
- Ok Butter get in.
We get to the car and Butter started driving.
- What's model is this car ? My dog is faster than this shit !
- Yeah i agree even if i don't know him
- Well, it's Sammy The Brave.
- Where is he now ? I don't saw him at your house
- Well he is now with James Bond on some special, covert mission. He didn't even told me where is he going
- Wait, you said he didn't tell you ? I think that's pretty normal.
- No ! He has royal blood of Uchicha clan flowing in his veins, so he can talk.
- But i was at your home many times and he never spoked a word !
- That's because he consider's you as a failure and i must agree with him
- You little...
- Watch on the road dumbass. It's 400 meters to their base.
Digidong, digidong.
- What's that ?
- Well it's my phone. Hitman text me that they moving now to base, so we must hurry. They can find themselves in combat and then who is gonna safe them ?
- Emmm... Chikorita ?
- Hmmm... Well i teached him some moves, but i don't think that he gonna win with Chuck. Even i couldn't stop him.
- Wow. We are speeding up !
- If you consider speeding up with moving like a cockroach, then i must tell you, that you have something wrong with your brain.
- It's truth ! We speeding up. 3 minutes and we gonna be there.
- Ok let's switch up. You have to break that password right ?
- Yep
That's all for now, thank you for reading :3
